Hazey days

So I haven't been posting as often as I would have liked to, due to me struggling with managing my pain at the present times. I've started back at school and I'm not doing so great either. It's really hard, going to school, just to sit alone in every class and at lunch time with no support from any of my friends. I'd really appreciate if just one person talked to me and asked me how I was, even though i would probably ball my eyes out and cry. On my first day of term two, last Tuesday, the only day I went that week, I sat by myself at lunch and cried. I felt like a freak because I literally had no one. Tomorrow will be my second day and I really don't want to go, just to sit alone again. I can't even concentrate in class because of my pain levels and people around me just think dumb. I used to get all A's now I'm scraping in on an E or an NA mark. I've been suffering with jut about every part of my body lately, my hands, arms, shoulders, tmj, neck, back, stomach, hips, knees, ankles an my fingers and toes are also arthritic and swollen. I lay here trying to swallow my tears, but the pain is becoming too strong, that I am no longer able to keep pretending that it doesn't hurt anymore. I just want to be normal. I can't even afford the braces/wheelchair/etc I need to be able to maintain my conditions. It's so hard to wake up in the morning, knowing I'm going to be in pain for the rest of my life. I've read that a lot of EDS sufferers die at young ages with organ problems, this worries me. I have all of the symptoms of POTS too, an every type of EDS (6 types) I fall under most of the categories also. I'm actually terrified. If I'm in this much pain at 15, what about 30, 70? How am I going to get through this? I downloaded this pain app which let's you mark in your pain, I've done 3 days, so far it's shown one flair up over 3 days.. I can't wait to show my pain cycle to a doctor! I just wish that there were some people or organizations willing to fund the equipment I need to live a relatively normal life. Today I painted a picture to try and keep my mind off of the pain, it only heightened the level of pain in my hands. This was heart breaking. Soon, I will no longer be able to do the things I love and enjoy;  and this is beginning to tear me apart. If there is anyone with EDS/RSD/CRPS etc that can relate, please leave a comment.